Every Wednesday, I work from home. My desk is set up in the back of our large bedroom, right next to our window. I look out that window onto the neighboring townhouses that back to ours. Because of the topography, our second story lines up with their first story, their family rooms, their decks.
A few weeks ago, something caught my eye as I was working. I looked and saw that one of our back-yard neighbors was on her deck, watering her plants and she was very noticeably pregnant. It caught me be surprise. I don't know her, in fact I don't really know any of the back-yard neighbors. But, to see her so hugely pregnant was shocking. I guess it's because I tend to forget that women still get pregnant and life continues on. It hurt at the time to see her, going about her normal business of watering plants and caring for her house while so very pregnant because I never got to do that. I never got that far before the bedrest. I never got that far at all, even on bedrest. I never made it past 25 weeks and 2 days.
Today, movement again caught my eye as I worked at my desk. As I'm on the computer and going about my work business, I glance up as the door to one of the houses behind me opens. And I see that the very pregnant back-yard neighbor is no longer pregnant but is now holding her tiny baby in her arms as she waters the plants on her deck. And I cry. Another baby born into this neighborhood, safe and sound. And while I'm glad her baby made it here safely (because I'd never wish the hell of babyloss on anyone), I still wish my baby could have come home too. Oh, how I wish I could be the back-yard neighbor with the baby on my hip as I water plants or tend my garden. Of the 5 townhouses behind ours, 3 now have babies in residence. And the occasional glimpse of them reminds me just how much is missing here in our townhouse. And will always be missing.
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