Dear Brianna,
Seven months ago, your were born and then you died. Or really, you died and then you were born. Or maybe it was both at the same time. I'll never know the exact order of it. We don't know if your heart stopped beating before the c-section or during it. But, we do know that it stopped. And part of me wishes the doctors had been able to start it again, to give you a chance to fight, to feel me holding you, to have you hear your Daddy's voice. But another part of me is glad that they couldn't revive you because I wouldn't have wanted you to feel any pain, having to be hooked up to machines for months on end without knowing if you would live or die.
Baby girl, there are only a few things that I know for certain right now at this point in my life. Two of them are that I love you forever and miss you always. I really hope that wherever you are, you can feel my love for you. And I hope that when I do finally get to see you someday, you'll know who I am right away.
Happy Birthday, Brianna.
Love always,
Mommy
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