5 Months

Dear Brianna,


Today is your 5-month birthday.  I still can't believe that it's been five months already since you died.  Sometimes it feels like it was just yesterday and sometimes it feels like it's been years.  Baby, I miss you.  These last few days have been really hard.  I think about you all the time and have been playing the "should be" game.  That's where I think of all the things we should be doing with you.  At 5 months, you should be starting to try cereal and start on baby food.  You should be smiling and cooing and interacting with us.  You should be starting to sit up, with help of course.  You should be here with us, stealing your daddy's heart every day and wowwing us with all your accomplishments.  But, you're not here.  And it hurts, more than I ever thought possible.  But, your daddy and I are surviving, a day at a time.  It's really all I'm capable of these days.


Baby girl, I hope that you know how much we love you and miss you.  You will always be my girl, my first child, my little Neon light.  I will always remember you, especially on your birthday.


Happy Birthday Brianna.


Love,


Mommy