6 Months

Dear Brianna,

Six months.  I can't believe it's been just half a year since I held you in my arms.  Yet, I also can't believe it's been only six months as on some days it feels like an eternity.  Six months feels like such an important milestone on this grief journey, but I can't explain why exactly.  Maybe it's because 6 months is about 26 weeks, which is just about how long I was pregnant with you.


In these past 6 months, I've learned a lot about myself.  I've learned that I can have my dreams smashed to bits and somehow manage to keep on moving.  I've learned that it's ok to put myself first when I need to.  I've learned that I have the capacity to feel, really feel, many emotions deeply, and some all at the same time.  But you know what, baby girl?  I'd give up all that I've learned in a heartbeat if it meant you could be here with me.  Because at the end of the day, I still miss you and want you here with me.


Happy Birthday, Brianna.  I love you and always will.


Love,
Mommy